#i promise it's coming ok like....it's it's arriving dahlings

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Five

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: none 

an: this chapter is ALSO a s h a w t y (wit a body ody ody) cause we gotta just flesh it out u kno ~development~ before the big ol shebang yerd? also spanish children’s songs go HARD. 

“Alright, friends,” Elide said as she passed out a little packet of laminated letters to every student. “Today we’re going to start on our ABC’s. Who can tell me what ABC’s are?” 

“Ko-Ko knows!” Esther shouted, always cheerleading her quiet friend. The redheaded five-year old was practically bouncing in her seat. 

Elide bit down her smile and laugh, ���Esther, remember our inside voices, ok? Kohana, do you want to share?” 

He glanced unsurely towards Esther and she nodded, encouraging him. “ABC is letters. Ah-phabet.” 

“Good job, Kohana, exactly. ABC’s are the letters that make our words,” she said, smiling at him. A little grin appeared on his face and Esther gave him a subtle high five. They were the cutest. “So, with our letters, friends, we’re going to learn the sounds they make!” 

The rest of the morning went swimmingly and Elide was pleased with herself, with the success of her lesson. She sent her kids off to recess after lunch, waving goodbye. A hand tugged on one of the deep pockets of her painter-overalls and she looked down to see Kohana standing there, worry creasing his brow. “Elide, I don’t want it to rain.” 

Elide glanced outside and saw the slight overcast. “Me neither. I don’t like the rain. Do you?” 

He nodded slowly and Esther popped out of the cubby room, decked out in the brightest, sparkliest gumboots, a polka-dotted raincoat, and a rain hat to match plopped onto her crazy curls as well. “I love the rain! We’re going to make soup, right, Ko-Ko?” 

Kohana looked up at Elide, his face brightening, “But I only like the rain sometime. I like the rain ‘cause me an’ my dad stay inside and we gots to watch a movie. Essie come over and watch movie too.”

“Oh, wow, I love movies! What’s your favourite?” 

“Like Space Jam. Dad likes MJ. I likes Buggsie Bunny, Essie likes Buggsie Bunny too. But she like other movie too.” 

“Oui, j’adore Buggsie Bunny!” 

Kohana giggled and Esther hooked her arm through his. “Bye bye, Elide!” She was dragging Kohana out behind her before Elide could wave good-bye. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Rolfe smiled as Kohana and Esther raced each other to reach him, their little backpacks slapping against their backs. “Rolfe!” “Papi!” 

He waved to Elide, indicating he got the little ones as he crouched and hugged them. “What’s up, munchkins? How was school today?” 

“We learned letter sounds,” Kohana said, taking the hand Rolfe held out to him as he stood up, Esther taking his other hand. “ABC sounds.” 

“Was that fun?” 

“Yeah, but me and Essie already knowed that. A is ah, B is buh, C is cuh or kah. Blah.” 

Esther giggled and let go of Rolfe’s hand to jump in a shallow puddle, barely a splash under her boots. Quickly, she ran back to Kohana and her father, walking to Rolfe’s car. “We goin’ to uncle L shop?”

“You know it,” Rolfe said, easily buckling the two of them into their booster seats. “Are you little devils hungry? Want some chicken nuggets?” 

They squealed and nodded, babbling to each other as Rolfe slowly pulled out of the parking lot, turning onto the road that would take him to the nearest fast food place. 

Soon enough, Kohana and Esther were happily munching on their snacks and sipping from the drinks he’d gotten them. “So, how’s school going, guys?” Rolfe looked into the rearview mirror. “Es? Ko?” 

“Elide is so nice, papi. She lets me and Ko-Ko sit together all the time and we gets to be buddies for everything! I like playing time and Ko-Ko like reading time, so he sits on the mushroom and I sits with the dinosaurs and I talk and Ko-Ko looks at the books, right, Ko-Ko?” 

“Yup! I looked at a book with bears today,” Kohana said, looking pleased as he sipped on his apple juice. “Do you like bears, Rolfe?” 

“I do,” he hummed, winking at Esther, “but you wanna know what my favourite animal is?” They looked at him expectantly, their eyes wide wide open. “Sharks!” 

Esther giggled and Kohana stared, “Sharks are scary.” 

His bestest friend wiggled and began to sing a song about a shark that tried to trick the fish. “Tres pececitos se fueron a nadar, el más pequeñito se fue al fondo del mar… El tiburón le dijo ven acá…”

Rolfe watched his daughter show his nephew of sorts how to make a fish with his hands and the actions that went along with the song. 

When they got to the mechanic shop, Kohana and Esther strained under their restraints, their empty food containers discarded on the floor. Rolfe didn’t mind it, if anything he was beaming at Esther’s influence on Kohana. The kid was itching to act out, even in such a simple way. 

His serene behaviour was a worry for Lorcan. 

Rolfe quickly unbuckled them before they hurt themselves and they were off, weaving and racing through the shop. They sought out Malakai first, who was sitting behind the front desk - fashioned out of the front end of a ‘57 Chevrolet Bel Air - sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper. 

“Grampy!” They yelled in unison, launching themselves into his arms. At their voices, Ansel and Lorcan popped their heads out of the back office, smiling fondly at the sight. They strolled on out, Ansel wiping her hands on the pants of her navy blue coveralls. She had the sleeves tied around her waist and wore an old white wifebeater as her top. 

“Hey, kiddos,” Ansel said and they hardly acknowledged her as Malakai withdrew two lollipops for them. She laughed and walked over to Rolfe, “Hello. How were the little ankle biters today?” 

“Esther sang a very educational song about not trusting sharks and they chowed down on some chicken nuggets and apple juice,” he told her, pulling her closer with a hand on her waist and a hand cupping her face. “How was your day?” Ansel kissed him softly. 

“Good, it was good. I think I figured out that engine block so,” she said, stepping back when Esther called for her. “Yes, my darling?” 

“I need help!” 

“That’s my cue,” Ansel quipped, saluting the two men as she went over to her daughter. 

Lorcan rubbed the back of his neck, “So how was he?” 

Rolfe nodded, “Good, he was good. He talks a lot about his teacher, you know? I think she’s really good for him. And Ess too.” Relief flashed over Lorcan’s face and Rolfe clapped his shoulder, “Hey, man, you’re doing a good job.” 

Lorcan opened his mouth to say something when his son crashed into his legs, one hand reaching up to tap Lorcan’s hip and the other holding Ko’s prized candy. “Hi, Dad!” 

Smiling, Lorcan leaned down and scooped him up, propping him on his hip. “Hey, kid.” 

“Look, Dad, gots a candy!” 

“Oh, cool, where’d you get that?” 

“Grampy.” 

Lorcan raised his voice, “Well that’s funny, I could’ve sworn Grampy knew that candy makes you hyper and makes me want to cry later at home.” Kohana just shrugged and popped his lollipop back in his mouth while Malakai laughed loudly, the sound coming from his belly. “How was school?” 

“Learned ah-phabet sounds. I ‘ready know ah-phabet sounds,” Kohana said, resting his head against Lorcan’s shoulder. “Can I help you with a car?” 

“Always, bud,” Lorcan said, nodding at Rolfe and the others before carrying Kohana away. “Hungry?” 

“Nope, got chicky nuggies. And A-for-Apple juice,” Kohana babbled, subconsciously switching his language and kicking out his legs. “Look, até, gots frogs on my boots. I eated with Essie and then we ‘plashed in puddle and made soup-soup and Essie played with dinos and I looked at a book of bears. I like bears, do you like bears?” 

“I do like bears,” Lorcan replied, keeping his voice even even though internally he was ecstatic at the amount Kohana was talking right now. He didn’t know how much influence was Esther’s or Elide’s, but he thanked the gods for them, no matter the awkward and stilted relationship to the latter. “What else did you get up to?” 

Kohana shrugged and wiggled to be put down. Lorcan obliged and they walked together into Lorcan’s car bay. “Not much, Dad. Gots help Essie with inside voice, but Essie help me with outside voice. Much louder now, when we go outside, do you wanna hear my outside voice?” 

“Of course,” Lorcan replied, his heart cracking just a bit more. Kohana stuck his lollipop in his mouth and clambered onto the cushioned stool by the tool cart. Every morning, it was meticulously organized, but by the end of the day, it looked like a tornado had gone through it. Lorcan took the other stool by the open hood of one of his regular’s cars. Each repair was futile, merely putting off the inevitable, but the man tipped well, listened to Lorcan’s instructions and didn’t argue with anything he was told so, Lorcan had no complaints. 

He glanced into the engine, sussing out which tool he would need and then the reachability of his son’s arms, trying to decide what he could make do with. “K-Man, pass me that socket wrench, yeah?” 

“Here you go!” Kohana chirped, shoving off the cart with his two feet on the rolling stool after he grabbed the shiny tool. “Here you go, Dad.” 

Lorcan chuckled and kissed his son’s forehead, “Thank the Creator for you, kid.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @superspiritfestival​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @queen-of-glass​ @sleeping-and-books​ @beccasophia95​ @exersize-me-i-dare-u​ @thewayshedreamed​ @hizqueen4life​ @ifinallygavein​ @bat-wing-rhys​ @awkward-avocado-s​ @b00kworm​ @mu-si-ca-l​ @lovemollywho​ @tacmc​ @soitsgorgeous​ @staarligght​

[plr33]

Meet Rahmieneh, my Personal Jewelry Concierge. She’s FABULOUS, and so is the Jewelry she designs!

  About Rahmieneh:

Rahmieneh Ortiz was born in 1980 in Bradford, England. Both of her parents were born in Tehran, Iran. They moved to the United States in 1982, first living in California, then off to New Hampshire, New York, and Delaware.

In 1998, Rahmieneh began her studies at Penn State University, and several years later graduated with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Business from the Smeal College of Business. Penn State is where she would also meet her husband (who she married in Mexico in 2008).

After graduating, she decided to forego her medical degree, and along with her soon-to-be husband Carlos, they embarked on entrepreneurship. Their first major venture together was a men’s and women’s boutique named Velvet. They experienced the rise and fall of the economy between 2005-2008, and after closing the doors on all four Velvet locations, Rahmieneh gave birth to their first child, their daughter Zara, in 2009. She also wrote two books during that year, “Destination Weddings: The Fine Print”, and “Work From Home: How to Sell Clothes for Cash”, both of which can be found on Amazon.

Shortly after, her next venture in fashion was born, an online consignment website, which sells gently used/new/vintage clothing, shoes and accessories on eBay. In 2014, her son Sebastian was born, and in 2016, her jewelry website was unveiled, which can be found at http://www.rahmieneh.com. Her passion for entrepreneurship, coupled with an extensive career in fashion, and a love for connecting with people of all walks of life, led her to diversifying her career online from clothing to jewelry and everything in between.

Rahmieneh currently resides in the Lehigh Valley of Pennsylvania with her two children, beloved husband, and their dog Oscar.

Personal Jewelry Concierge:

Rahmieneh and I first met on Instagram. I don’t know who followed who, or who commented on a post first, but I do know this: we’re soul sisters. You know that feeling when you just connect with someone almost instantly? That’s us! She is a kick-ass Girlboss, a Wife, Mom, and a truly wonderful human being. I count myself lucky to call her my friend!

After we met, I ordered a couple of pieces of her jewelry. A risky proposition if you think about it…ordering something you’ve only seen in a photo on social media. When the earrings arrived, I was not disappointed!! They were beautifully packaged, complete with a handwritten note from the woman herself (such a delightful unexpected touch). The Earrings themselves were incredible! I immediately took out the earrings I was wearing and put them on. They are extraordinarily well made, you can see the care in the craftsmanship. Not just that, they’re freaking GORGEOUS!

Here I am in my first pair. I must love them, because I absolutely detest taking selfies!!

    I ordered more right away (That day. Seriously.) and again I was thoroughly impressed. After a few orders, I joked that she was my Personal Jewelry Concierge, and she had truly become that. She has an incredible ability to match the piece with the person, which makes her new venture all the more exciting (more on that below). She messages me when she has a piece she thinks I’ll like. She’s NEVER pushy (I’ve said no before). Her pieces are made in small runs, so I love that she knows what I like. Plus, I know there aren’t 10,000 other people with the same jewelry. I like that.

Here are just a few of her lovely pieces:

  Over the last few months, we’ve developed a genuine friendship. She was 100% there for me when my dad died, checking on me almost daily. She’s caring and genuine and hilarious. I’m so very happy she’s part of my life.

So, when she announced her newest venture, I asked if I could do a post announcing it. Guess what, guys??? Now you too can have Rahmieneh as your own Jewelry Concierge! She’s started a subscription box service!!!

    Rahmbox: YOUR Personal Jewelry Concierge Service

RAHMBOX is the monthly jewelry subscription of your dreams! Let this jewelry concierge service style you with jewelry from the uber popular accessories site, RAHMIENEH. With plans starting at only $39/ month, each RahmBox is shipped right to your doorstep each month and filled with high quality, statement jewelry unique to your style and taste.

GLAM your wardrobe in minutes – here’s how:

Every month, enjoy hand-selected jewelry exclusively for fabulous women like YOU!

EXTRA Free Jewelry With Your First Two Boxes! Fun, Trending Fashion Accessories Bonus Freebies and Coupons in Every Box FREE SHIPPING! Special discount on everything at http://www.rahmieneh.com Exclusive items not sold in the online store – just for RahmBox members Yes, You Get to Keep it ALL!! TIME – don’t spend another minute shopping – they do it all for you! Don’t waste another second trying to style yourself, take just 5 minutes and choose the plan that will revolutionize how you get dressed every day!

You can find all the information by clicking here

  Q&A with Rahmieneh

I thought it would be fun to do a little Q and A, and Rahmieneh was up for it:

1. What is the best thing about owning your own business?

The best part about having my own business is the feeling that whatever I put in, I’ll get out. If I decide to stay up later each night, work longer hours, try harder, be more creative, etc – I directly reep the benefits of my efforts. Working for someone else or another corporation can many times mean that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much extra effort I put into my job, it’s up to some “month reviews” for anyone to take notice of my talents, how hard I try, and/or my interest in making the company better to the best of my abilities. This company that I own right now has my name on it, and so it’s even more personal to me to make sure each and every customer is blown away by my products and my service. I’ve worked for other people in the past and I have always given 110% at each and every job I had, all for the benefit of that business. With this, I call the shots, I work extra and see the results almost instantly. It’s deeply gratifying!

2.  Who has inspired you?

I have been most inspired by my parents. They moved to this country when I was about 2 years old, without any family or friends around them. A new country, a new language, working jobs perhaps they may not otherwise have worked, all the while raising me (and then my brother who was born when I was 8) and showing us the best life that we could live. I learned to persevere, be passionate, be humble, and accept each and every person that comes my way as my equal. These qualities have served me well as a person in my community, a mother, a wife, and a boss lady!

3. What are your 4 all-time favorite Books?

My favorite 4 books of all time – ahhhh there are just so many! Sorry not sorry that some of these are kids books lol, I just can’t help myself…. they are, 1. Joe Biden, Promise Me Dad, 2. You are a badass, 3. Wuthering Heights, 4. The Witches by Roald Dahl, 5. Where the sidewalk ends + The Light in the Attic (sorry but these 2 are tied for #5!!)

4. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

ONE song?! Ok ok…one song for the REST of my life…my favorite song ever is Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

5. What do you always have with you?

One thing I always carry with me: HOPE

  I’m sure you can see why I think Rahmieneh is incredible. Do yourself a favor…pick up one of her pieces, you will LOVE it!

  You can find Rahmieneh online at www.Rahmieneh.com, box.rahmieneh.com,

and on Instagram: www.instagram.com/Rahmieneh

        Rahmieneh: Your Personal Jewelry Concierge Meet Rahmieneh, my Personal Jewelry Concierge. She’s FABULOUS, and so is the Jewelry she designs! About Rahmieneh:

[themomsandthecity]

A Letter to My Unborn Baby: Here's What I Promise You

Dear Baby, There are still a few months until we meet, but already I'm busy writing you letters. (This is probably just one of a million times you'll be reminded that your mom's a writer - a sentimental one. You've been warned.) I started writing things down because I honestly couldn't stop thinking about you, and because even though I've only been carrying you for a matter of months, it already feels like there's so much to share. It's all in a tiny journal on my nightstand, one I'll give you someday when you're a bit older. There's a letter about how your dad and I met, another about the day you became a reality, plus others about your grandpa and your grandma and some of the special people who already love you. See? I told you: a sentimental writer. In all these letters, I find myself imagining the mom I hope to be when you arrive. That mom I picture, she's a tall order, but although there's a whole lot I can't plan for, there are also some promises I vow to keep . . . I promise to begin and end your days with the reminder that I adore you. At night, you'll hear "I love you" loud and clear, and I promise to wake you up each morning with a soft voice and an open smile, just the way my mom did with me. That might seem like a small thing, but trust me: it makes for a pleasant start to the day, and when you're a teenager, you'll be really, really grateful that I'm not shoving the curtains open and yelling for you to get up. When you try new things, I promise not to show you that I'm a tiny bit (or, more likely, very) scared. Deep down I might be worried or anxious or slightly terrified of what might happen if it doesn't work out for you, but I won't let my fears slow you down. I'll tell you to take chances, to go for it, to trust yourself. I promise to trust you. I promise to make your birthday a big damn deal. Whether you're turning 1 or 35, I promise balloons and streamers and surprise parties and the cakes of your choice. Some years you might love that, and other years it might feel sort of cheesy, but when you look back on birthdays past, I promise you'll know that you were celebrated by the people who cared about you most. If you mess up in a small way, I promise to acknowledge it, help you, then let it go. And whenever you mess up in a big way, I promise to feel the weight of it and push you to do the same. I promise to let you make those tough mistakes, to address them when I need to, and to keep on loving you all the same. I promise to build you one hell of a library . . . or, at least, to bring you to one. I'll help you learn to read and then I'll share with you all the stories, true and imagined, that have made me who I am. I promise to stand by, thrilled, as you discover the Harry Potter world for yourself, and to give you all the Roald Dahl books that swept me away when I was small, and to offer you my collection of heavily underlined novels just as soon as you're able to love them too. I promise you a life filled with words and books and imagination and the space to be as creative as you want to be. I promise to be active - to set that example and inspire you to keep moving. There will be after-dinner walks and Sunday morning runs and sunny hikes along the beach. Oh, I promise you sports, too. Plenty of them. Your dad will teach you how to throw a football, how to nail free throws, and I'll show you the ins and outs of soccer. Swimming, too. All of it or none of it, I promise that can be up to you. Golf, basketball, volleyball, dance - I promise to let you try whatever grabs you and to let you quit when you don't love it anymore. I promise to surround you with art of all kinds. To share my love for pop culture, for movies and music and Broadway and Hollywood. I'll show you the good stuff and the cheesy stuff, the Oscar winners and the terrible comedies, the Beatles and the '90s pop that makes most people cringe. (You'll notice, of course, that I won't cringe. And you'll quickly learn that when it comes down to it, our family is Team *NSYNC, not Backstreet Boys.) Over the years I promise to bring you to museums and concerts and plays, and I'll totally get it when you transform into an all-out crazy fan of something, or someone. If you swear you won't make fun of me, I might even show you my homemade Justin Timberlake poster from 2001. Like I said: Team *NSYNC, OK? When you have a bad day, I promise to listen. Or give you room to breathe, whatever seems best at the time. And when you get upset or angry or really, in-your-bones mad at me, I promise that I'll try to understand. I'll practice patience; I'll try, anyway. Year after year, I promise to carve out all kinds of special time for just you and your dad. From day one I'll do everything I can to support that relationship and to let it be as special as the one I share with my dad. Together you two will take camping trips, go to football games, road trip along the California coast. He'll introduce you to his reggae favorites and way, way more 49ers trivia than you'll ever care to know. On weekends, he'll bring you along for Sunday drives, and over the Summer, he'll let you tag along to watch Giants games from the bleacher seats. Hockey games, though - you'll save those for me. I promise to be honest with you, even when it's hard, but I also promise to protect you. When there's something you need to know, I'll tell it to you straight, and if it might do more harm than good, I'll keep it to myself. I promise that I'll try to recognize the difference. Speaking of difference, I promise to celebrate what makes you different. I promise to let your weirdness shine. I promise to mark the major moments as they come, to take pictures and fill out scrapbooks and document the biggest milestones of your life. It's important to acknowledge the little things, too, so I'll do what my mom did, and at night, I'll ask you what you're grateful for. It'll give you perspective and a sense of calm. Hope, too. Mostly, sweet baby, I promise to show you love in all its best forms. I'll love you and your dad and our friends and our families. With words and with actions I'll say it and I'll show it, and if just one of my promises can be kept, let it be this: that you'll feel it. A love so big that it fills you up, that it makes you feel safe. I can't wait to meet you. Love you already, Mom http://bit.ly/2pljraM

[seedy250]

Wiring motorcycle fog lights through gritted teeth.

This winter I have found a couple of occasions when I have been in riding conditions that have made me clench a lot more than just my fists.  

I couldn’t see the road edge in the dark. I couldn’t see the road edge in the fog. I couldn’t see the road edge in the snow. Or all of them at once. Car brake lights refracted over everything and I was mildly concerned that I was not half as visible as I would have liked to be. So I decided to remedy that. 

So... I spent hours on the internet mentally preparing myself for the task and found there are two main areas of discussion: which light and how to wire them. 

Which light? Lights are so cheap, just buy something from China and try them. I got something from Amazon that was less than a fiver. It arrived eventually with a corner of the box caved in and the shortest lead on the back but I tied it direct to the bike battery and it looked muy bright.

As I said, this is for fog: both seeing the side of the road and being seen. So I wanted a rear (red) light as well to make me more visible. As luck would have it I had a £3.00 Ring trailer light in the garage. I tried that on the battery too, also blinding. So far so good.

Then we come to the wiring.

I have a Honda Silvering 600 superduper scooter. It is the least cool bike on the road. It may not even class as a bike. I don’t care. It’s great. 

Until you want to wire in some fog lights.

So having wasted hours online looking at wiring diagrams and forum posts and trying to understand relays and hot leads and reading endless comments about being careful and getting a professional to do it, I took the path of DIY least resistance and clicked “buy now” on the:

Complete Spot / Fog Light Wiring Loom Harness Kit with On/Off Switch For Motorbikes / Motorcycles / Quads Sold by Alchemy Parts for a cheeky £26.99.

It had good(ish) reviews and there are a couple of shaky YouTube videos of people installing it. They all seemed to think it was OK and fairly straightforward. Lying b@st&rds.

Now I’m guessing that you, my one reader, have made it this far because you too have bought this kit and ended up staring at it and wanting to weep hot salty tears of frustration. (If you have bought one and are not weeping, you are a hard individual indeed.) 

I wept on the inside, then decided to HTFU and get on with it.

Here’s the kit and lights. So full of promise. So unexplained.

The first thing I did was make a cup of tea. With it in hand I looked at the “instructions”. 

Having scrutinised them I realised they were not instructions at all but clues to the frustrations ahead. To save you the suspense they are...

Nothing on how to attach crimp-on waterproof connectors. Or anything else for that matter

Colour co-ordination not actually co-ordinated (yes, my white lead now does not connect to white)

Female-to-female and male-to-male connections. Wait, what?

Slight problem (for me) with getting a front fog light connector to reach the rear mudguard

Slight problem getting the battery connector to the battery which is under the seat, terminals on the inside.

And all the usual setbacks that befall the common-or-garden diy mechanic. 

If you are a Silverwing owner I don’t have to tell you about stripping the bodywork but if you ride something *normal*, you are missing out. Really. 

Here’s the stripped Wang with the loom laid out. I decided to connect the lights while my brain worked out a plan of attack.

Let’s talk about the connectors. You get two crimpable pins, an empty connector body and a green wedge. 

And no instructions on the process to get them together. Can’t be that hard. 

The body fits into the loom and is handily numbered 1 and 2 to help get the right leads together. I used the extension flex to judge length, stripped the wires on the front fog (now down to about six inches)  and wondered how it all fits together. 

Ah-hah, thinks I, wires in body, crimp on pins and snugly fit in. All the write ups say “don’t use pliers”, so I didn’t. I used my Halfords stripping and crimping tool. It was useless. I used pliers. 

Ta-dah. Oh. That didn’t work. I realise that the idea is to push the pins through the red rubbery orifices (i.e from the back and through) then use the green wedge to seat them in place. that’s just the sort of thing that would be handy to have written down, in something we could call “instructions” for instance. Hmmm.

Crimpy pins looking a bit shagged once I got them off again. Another dry run and it looks like the already short (red/black) cable needs to be shorter. Snip, snip, strip, strip, crimp, crimp, shove, shove. Seems to fit...

I must have been so pleased that I forgot to take a pic. Imagine that there are two pins sticking out in the next picture. You shove them in really firmly (really firmly) as above and I think they depress two tiny tabs so you can slide in the green wedge. (Trust me, this will make sense if you have the kit.)

Oh yes, the green wedge goes in this way up. Working that out was quite a chore. Don’t thank me.

Shove this into the other connector to seat everything and that is a major hurdle over. You could now use a multimeter to check if it works but, I don’t know how to and as I’m on a roll now I just hope it works. And stop for lunch. 

If you are still with me, thank you. At this point I was excited. The lights were connected to the loom, the loom was on the floor, the bike bodywork was scattered about the garage, the wiring diagram bore little relation to reality and I was about to start the bit I’d been putting off. 

I find in any job there is something I am putting off and I find numerous other things to do to avoid this one aspect. In this job it was choosing which wire to splice the switch cable into.

I’d been looking and thinking and researching and worrying and generally not getting on with it. It needs to be a “hot” wire that is triggered by the ignition. Whilst I can say that last sentence, I only sort of understand it but I am not certain about it. 

I realised once that this was done the rest of it would fall into place, so I grew some balls and got on with it. 

Just looking at the wiring at the front of the bike made me feel a bit nervous. Maybe a cup of tea first.

That’s a big bundle of wires that look like they are not keen on being poked with. Internet to the rescue: when searching I found this link to Honda’s universal wiring colours. Thank you Honda, thank you. 

For some reason I’d thought to splice into the driving lights but became waylaid by a post about the indicator hot wire colours and took the plunge on using the orange-coloured indicator wire (if you are slapping your forehead, you are over qualified for this post, leave now).

So, yes that wire strippy clip thing. I had looked at the instructions - I mean “the clues” - and sort of got it. See...

“The positive wire of the parker side light”. See? No, nor me, yet.

The clip needs a tiny screwdriver to open the lid of it. If you worked that out from the picture, you’re a better man than I. I thought the picture was of Eurotunnel or something. Anyway you prise open the little red “clip” and it should look like this

The bike wire lies parallel in that channel, the metal blades bite into the wire and make a connection. The naysayers say nay to this as it will cause “electrical gremlins” in 18 months time. (Roald Dahl came up with gremlins, interesting fact). 

Anyway, I had planned a very robust soldering in - it may yet happen - but I want to know if the damn things work and it’s been three hours now. I clip it on the orange cable. Nothing catches fire, so that’s a success.

I connected the battery leads fed to battery with crocodile clips for easy connection. The loom now runs to the connected front light, the second light connection (my rear light) is doubled back and the flex from an old pressure washer connected. 

At the rear the flex is twisted onto rear light leads. A screwdriver handle is shoved between the rear light leads for insulation. Honestly. You’ll see in a minute.

In the excitement I had attached the switch to the handlebar which was easy enough to fit (but did later involve sawing off about an inch of the plastic handlebar cover). I opted for the left side.

Finally I had to work out which lead went to the switch and which went to the hot wire. To test this I pulled back the plastic covers and held the ends together with offcuts of wire.

 I know, I know but the instructions/clues suggest that this white cable attaches to a white cable, I get that. However. Both white cable ends have a female connector. The male connector is on a black lead. 

I had to see if it worked and they still had the same-sex connectors on and I didn’t want to get in to splicing and soldering until I was sure..

I try to think through it logically but it doesn’t make sense. I just think I’ve got a wrong lead. To save time I rig up the bodgiest of bodges to test it.

The most hokey circuit was ready. It was amateur even by my standards. I put the key in and turned the ignition on. No flames yet. I turned on the main lights, paused, then flipped the switch. 

Nothing happened. Sigh.

Just what I feared. I thought about it for a bit (that is, made a cup of tea) and went and got my multimeter. I was planning to test the draw on the battery although I was not quite sure how, my plan was to attach the probes and twiddle the dial until something happened. As I walked back to the garage I remember that the crocodile leads weren’t great. 

I tested the battery 11.3v, battery is OK. 

I tested the current through the leads 0v. Hurrah.

I got new crocodile leads (from a beginners electronics set, I believe. It was a bit advanced for me). Now we had current in  the circuit.

Ignition....lights....fog lights....nothing.

Then a dim light went on in my skull. At least one bulb was working, ho ho. I’d connected the switch to the indicators not the main lights. I hit the indicator...

LET THERE BE LIGHT(S)

(See, I told you there was a screwdriver holding the rear leads apart. The cardboard strip on the floor is all the fixings required to put the Silverwing’s front bodywork on. Madness.)

So, there we are. It works. The right wires are were connected and I was mightily pleased. I made a cup of tea.

Actually I realised that I needed bigger heat shrink than I had and also connectors for the cables. So a mad trip round the shops procured an exceptionally expensive box of various diameter shrink tubes but no connectors, so I decided to solder the wires and seal them with the shrink wrap.

 That was enough for one night <ripple dissolve to next day>.

So the first task of the day was to get the cables routed through the body so that I could clear a bit of space in the garage and get things tidy for the great solder. 

If you own a “normal” bike, that is, something not covered in acres of brittle plastic, dotted with different types of fixings, then this next bit isn’t for you. Lucky sod.

My first attempt employed the old jiggle the coat hanger technique. Got it through, ziptied the cable to it, pulled it back and the cable came off. 

So I jiggled the coat hanger back through and tried the old bit of string method

See - a cable attached to some string attached to a coat hanger. Just like they do at a Honda dealership. (Do you like my custom made Silver Wang insignia, it’s unique?)

Obviously this was a rubbish idea and I just thought I’d take the body off. Actually it took less time than expected and threading the cable through this time took approximately 20 seconds. So, kids, don’t cut corners to save time: it’s a loser’s game.

There are loads of gubbins under there but it was actually easy as was putting everything back together. With that all done I cut the cable to length, unfortunately not quite the right length. Not quite to short but almost. Sigh.

Now it was getting exciting.  The rear fog needed to have the screw holes slightly widened to fit 5mm Allen bots, as did the holes in the mudguard. Easily achieved with a drill or tap. The front light is in place but will need fine tuning once it’s all set up. So I twisted the wires in place, connected the battery and we still had light. Garage joy.

Next I had to solder the twisted wires together. Something along the lines of:

Cut off random connectors

Put heat shrink sleeve on one wire

Worry that wire’s getting a bit short

Twist bare wires together

Twist all other wires together. One connection at time, or you’ll forget which is which, trust me

Heat soldering iron. Tin tip and remember that on my iron only about 1mm square gets hot enough to melt solder

Try solder. It melts. Hurrah.

Hold soldered tip to connection and happily blob solder all over it before moving iron away

For the first time in many attempts, this works:

Nice, eh? Do the same at rear but this time, thanks to too-short cable, squatting on haunches fumbling in the dark recesses of the bike. 

Done. Test lights. Still working.

Go to put heat shrink down. Spot I’ve put one piece up the cable rather than one on each wire. Er, how about I try some insulating tape under the wires...

Test. Still working.

Slide single heat shrink over insulating tape and heat with lighter. Melt stuff.

Do the other two connections. They look, as may be said in South Wales, tidy.

Once everything is done, test the lights. Bingo.

And relax.

At this point the hard part is over. My to-do list for the weekend is:

Zip-tie cables into place

Adjust front light and heat shrink connector. The supplied tube is too small to cover the connector, you might want to taper it like this so it slides over the wires:

I’ve also noticed that you need a really fat piece to go over the other connector. Not quite sure how I’ll tackle that.

Reattach front bike bodywork and screen. Tedious but now not too time consuming

Take it for a ride and make sure it does the job in the dark

All for another day...